Re-Learning to be Fiercely Vulnerable

Vulnerability. It’s a word that tends to stir up fear in many people. It’s something we’re designed to need the most in our relationships with people, but it’s also the thing people tend to fear the most.

“Vulnerable” in its original root meaning is defined as “wound-able”. When someone is vulnerable they expose depths of their hearts that if one was not careful they could deeply wound that person. This is why most people refrain from being vulnerable with people around them, in fear that they may get hurt. And when one gets hurt after being vulnerable, trust is broken, hope seems lost, and often times false mindsets are developed and embraced.

I don’t believe vulnerability is something we have to learn to do as humans. I believe it’s something we were born naturally capable of doing. When you think about it, most young children don’t have walls set up around their hearts and interact with people in a way that is distant and disengaged. Children are all about connection and are willing to share with others literally EVERYTHING that is happening in their life because they had not yet been taught by life to be scared to love and let love in.

The problem in our culture and society is that whenever we are vulnerable and we end up getting hurt, we build massive walls around our hearts thinking that by doing so our hearts will never get hurt again and our lives will be so much better. And while you might be blocking hurt, you’re also blocking yourself from receiving love, and even more, you isolate yourself into a lonely cage of self-pity and wonder why no one seems to care about you. Anxiety begins to build up, caused by your heart experiencing claustrophobia as it was never intended on being placed in a small box on a shelf, unreachable to anyone who desires to love it.

It’s time for that box to be opened and those walls to be torn down.

Re-learning to be vulnerable is possibly one of the most scary things anyone will ever do. But it’s possibly the most liberating thing one will ever do.

Becoming vulnerable isn’t a one-step, quick and simple thing. It is a process, often times one that is very long. But don’t hate the process, it is the very thing that will help develop your strength and endurance.

I believe the first steps towards being vulnerable again are to laugh at fear and go after love. Learning to love again, especially after experiencing an unhealthy situation, can be terrifying. When you’ve experienced mistrust and manipulation and your love was abused at the hands of an irresponsible person, obviously loving again can seem like tricky waters that you’re not sure if it’s even worth it to cross.

But the redemption is in the fact that your past experiences don’t get to determine your future.

Not everyone is like that person who hurt you. Don’t judge all people based off of those who caused you to be scared of love and vulnerability. You are so worthy of love. People actually want to love you. You are worthy to have amazing friends and relationships in your life. And you are fully capable of having healthy connections with people.

Will you open up and let people love you where you’re at?

The decision ultimately falls on you. You can’t expect other people to do for you what only you can do. Only you can take that first risky step of faith. You can’t have community without connection. And you can’t have connection without vulnerability.

I dare you to move and take that first step of re-learning to be fiercely vulnerable.